When I reflect on this post now. I think of how trapped I felt. Even in the beauty of this photo, I felt a terrible unease. Although I was inspired to write this because of my perceived lack of happiness, it was done from a place reminiscence. Deep down I wanted to be back in this place of beauty. But what I didn’t realize, was that what was calling me for change was not my environment around me. Instead, it was the internal misalignment with myself.
When you feel this urge to leave and flee. Remember that what you are seeking could be something else entirely. But follow your heart, trust your intuition, and know that it is leading you in the right direction.
This is a journal note I wrote to myself after returning to work after a month long climbing trip to Yosemite in June 2015. I couldn't quite get myself motivated to work after that trip. So I spent a lot of my work days journaling and trying to figure out my next move.
When I got a taste for freedom, for adventure, for liberty. Total control over my own life and my own time; I found that I couldn’t ever let it go. I can not be content with submitting myself to an unfulfilling task. I must be free.
Every moment is precious. Every thought is sacred. The idea of being bound to safety, to security, and groundedness becomes absolutely terrifying. Fear is the predominant emotion. Anxiety is the response.
There is a world out there. A world full of life and adventure, how long can I give in to fear?